


Homestuck Afterstory

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-12 08:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2101878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sburb/Sgrub is over, Calliope is alive and all of the beta/alpha trolls who died are brought back to life. What sort of weird shenanigans will go down when three species composed entirely of teenagers are forced to work together?  (Grammar mistakes I'm sorry U_U)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End or The Beginning?

Nothing changed. They weren't zapped back to their home planets and woke up to it only being a dream. It was the same. They beat Lord English and were sent to their planets... but not the ones theyd hoped for and eventually all met up on LOMAX and made a discovery. All of the trolls who had died in game along with the troll's planets were restored. Unfortunately, that left 22 potentially psycopathic aliens, 2 very mentally unstable and very unpredictble aliens, 8 hormone crazed humans and oh, not to forget one cherub with extreme identity issues, all residing in the same living space. Predictabley enough, this gave rise to a LOT of tension. The subject of Gamzee, Kurloz, Aranea and Eridan are still being decided on. They wont get a death sentence due to the already dwindling populations of the species, but they wont get something as simple as picking up trash either. Gamzee and Kurloz's judgement wont be handed out lightly. 

Be John Egbert-->>

You are John Egbert and you just had the best nap you have ever had. It wasn't really a nap though. It lasted for 14 hours so you guess it was more of a snooze? a doze? Who cares? Either way it was grea-

"Johnnnnnnnn!" You hear a familiar voice shout as it closes in. Suddenly you're slammed to the floor by your ecto-sister.

"Jade..." you wheeze, winded (no pun intended) by the girl sprawled over your stomach. "why?"

"Dave keeps making fun of me and playing with my ears!" she cried like he was drowing a kitten.

"And?!" 

"And he's chasing me right now!" 

"Jade, don't take this personally, but I really, realllly don't care."

"But Johhhhn~" she whines some more. "it's annoying! tell him to stop!" 

"If I tell him to stop will you let me breathe?" 

"Oh sorry!" she gasps, pushing herself of you.

"Come on Harley! It's futile. It's like, when you're in the ocean, and there's a big ass wave, you just know you can't avoid it so you just stand there and fear for your life. Not that I would know of course. I'm not scared of-"

"Dave shut up! Guuh why're you guys tormenting me when I just woke up?" you sigh.

"So you've seen Jade?" 

"Yes I've seen Jade, she was preventing my intake of air just a few minutes ago." when you see his eyebrow peak over the top of his glasses you realise what you just said. "No! Not like that you sicko, she's my sister!" he has no idea how hard you wanna wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

"I have no idea what you've talking about Egbert."

"ANYWAY..." you say changing the subject. "Dave could you please stop touching Jade's ears?" 

"Why?" this question makes an idea pop into your head.

"Oh well... uh.... you see..." you start to whisper. "it's an erogenous area." his expression shifts slightly and his face goes red.

"W-what?! *ahem* I mean uhh.. what?" bingo

"She'd really appreciate if you stopped." You pull the best glare you could. "and so would I. She's my sister dude." with that you whip your head around and go back to your makeshift room. You get back to the room and something rustles in your closet. "He's gone you can come out." you hear a muffled "really?" before Jade stumbles out and fixes her hair.

"What'd you say?"

Oh no, that was a fluke, you suck at lying. "Oh, uh... I just said leave her alone or I'll do the windy thing." Yeah you take the cake in shitty pretend threats apparently. 

"Oh okay!" Jade grins. God damn she's gullable. 

"Okay well, can I please get dressed now?" 

"Sure!" she doesn't move. Just grins that bucktooth grin that almost mirrors yours.

"Uh Jade... I like to get undressed before I get dressed and well I doubt you'd want to see that so uh..."

"Oh! Right, sorry! Seeya John!" she calls, practically bounding out of your room. She's like a ten year old. Hopefully Dave doesnt tell her what you told him. She probably wouldn't get it and then he'd have to explain it to her. Haha then she'd brutally murder you... good ol Jade. You make your way to the closet half expecting someone to be in there. Thankfully when you open it you just see some clean clothes that Kanaya made. You blow a sigh of relief.

"I must be becoming paranoid." you shudder.

"Or maybe you have unresolved self esteem issues stemming from your uncanny physical similarities to Mr English who is in a relationship whilst you remain single." 

"Haha probabl- WHAT?! Rose!!" you shriek.

"What? I'm just making observations." she casually explains, sliding out from beneath your bed.

"How long have you been there?!"

"Long enough to know you have some serious dishonesty issues."

"Out! Now! Please." 

"Jeez, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed... and also the right side since it's a single bed." She mutters, taking her leave.

You have a feeling today's going to be a long day.


	2. Judgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sloppily written chapter about the troll's trial and other random shennanigans

Be Rose Lalonde-->>

You are Rose Lalonde and you just had the best fun you've had in quite a while. Torturing your friends with psycological mind games is something you've missed.

"Ah, Rose. I was just looking for you. I tried LOLAR but as you know, you weren't there." Your matesprit says as she spots you. You spent the night on LOWAS at John's house watching shitty movies alongside the other humans and Calliope. The trolls would have joined you if it weren't for the meeting they held to decide the fate of Eridan, Gamzee, Kurloz and Aranea. It felt sort of bland without the trolls there to spice things up but then again if they were the night would have most likely ended in violence. On second thought it probably was better they weren't there.

"Yeah, we all stayed here last night. I'm surprised Roxy and Jake haven't woken up yet actually, with all the commotion earlier that is."

"Comotion?"

"Yeah. My brother decided to woo his next target by tickling her and chasing her around the house." you sigh.

"Oh so Dave an Jade... you know?" you actually have no clue, but before you can speak another voice cuts in.

"No Dave and Jade are not "you know". Completely 100% platonic goodness. So full of platonic goodness, moiraileagence cowers in a corner when our friendship walks past." Your brother's a moron.

"Wow Dave. You know if she heard you say that she could get pretty upset."

"What do you mean?"

"Well she did date Davesprite for a while and you do realise its up to us to repopulate the human race, so unless you want your children to have webbed feet it's either Jane or Jade." He just stands there for a few seconds until Kanaya speaks up.

"Actually with the new matriorb we could make human grubs through the same process which is far more efficient with very little incest involved."

"Kanaya, 1. they're not called "human grubs" they're called babies. 2. that's not how humans do shit. 3. what the fuck? "very little incest"? That's just nasty." Dave winces when he says the last part.

"What're we talking about?" Jade suddenly appears, smiling and seemingly bursting with energy.

"Kanaya's being gross." Dave mumbles, walking away.

"What's got him in a mood?" Jade asks.

"Maybe he's on his human menstrual cycle." Kanaya smirks as though she said something witty. You and Jade just shake your heads.

"Looks like we need a bit more education in the reproduction department if we're going to have 3 species coexisting as one society."

"Okay, well I'm off! See you guys later!" Jade grins, bounding off after Dave.

"If those two don't get together soon I'll eat my hat." you think out loud. "Anyway" you say clapping your hands together. "how abut we go to LOLAR where you can explain to me the details of last night?" you say as calmly as possible so your jade blooded compadre doesn't sense how very antsy you are to hear of the previous night's events.

"I like the sound of that." Kanaya smiles, leading the way.

Be Dave Strider-->

You are Dave Strider and you just took part in the most disgusting conversation to ever be heard. Incest? Bluh! Yes you've made some slip ups in the past and fallen into sister/mom traps but those were accidents! Anywho, you make it back to LOHAC when you hear your door open.

"Daaaaaave!" Jade calls from your living room. It's as though she gets her energy from the green sun... oh wait...

"In here Harley." you respond from your bedroom. You hear a familiar click as your door opens.

"Haha, looks the same as it did 3 years ago." she giggles.

"Yeah, it needs a good clean." you sigh. Can't really do much with imp entrails on your walls and floor.

"How about I help you?" Jade flashes her signiture buck tooth grin.

"Really, I don't kn-"

"No! It'll be fun! Just don't touch my ears." she says covering her ears at the last part. You realise what she just said and feel your face get warm. "Oh- yeah, I won't."

You both start in opposite corners and make your way to the center. You only stop when you hear Jade erupt into laughter. You send her a confused- but still cool glance before realising what was in her hands.

"Don't look at those!" you start feeling nervous.

"Really Dave? Just- hahahahaha" she found your god damn ironic selfie stash. You scramble across the room in an attempt to snatch them off her but she's long gone.

Be John Egbert-->

You're now fully clothed and ready to go! You make your way downstairs and consider your options for today. Your stomach growls and you decide your first course of action would be getting a little breakfast. You make your way to the kitchen where you see Jake and Roxy passed out. You walk over to Jake and shake him awake and he does so with frightening intensity. His eyes snap open and he sits straight up, headbutting you in the process.

"Ow dude." you wimped holding your head. "Who wakes up like that?"

"Ow yourself!" he replys, mirroring your actions. After a few seconds he opens his eyes.

"Why were you guys asleep in my kitchen?"

"I asked Roxy for alchohol... the stuff she gave me was really strong I guess."

"It made you pass out?"

"I don't even remember." he responds shaking his head.

You get up and make your way to the toaster and get out a loaf of bread from the pantry. When you arrived back here you made sure to alchemize a load of food. "I wondered where you'd got off to last night."

"Yeah, Roxy drinks a lot so you'd expect her alchohol tolerance to be high, but she's really no better than me." Jake replies, getting up and making his way to the table.

"You guys are underage though."

"Yeah, but there aren't really any laws to dictate that now, are there?"

"Guess we'll just have to make our own rules then."

"You're right, if we're to uphold two species on the border of extinction, we'll need to set some boundaried for future generations."

"For someone with a hangover you speak a lot of sense."

"You two shush please."

*PCHOO*(toaster noises)

"Oh I see you're awake." Jake says with a 

"That's good, I'd be worried if you didn't." Roxy grumbles, joining Jake at the dining table.

"You really shouldn't drink as much anymore, with no doctors or medicine, your liver will fail before you can say martini." You lecture.

"Wow you're worried about my liver? I appreciate the notion Johnny but the only time I've seen daughtermom without a flask in her hand since Callies brother kicked the hay is when she's around her alien girlfriend."

"Kicked the hay?"

"I can't say bucket anymore, especially with 24 pail crazy trolls traipsing around."

"Speaking of, how did the troll trial go?"

"I don't know yet. Rose and Kanaya are probably talking about it now. I'll talk to one of them later and get back to you. I'd ask Karkat, but..." you trail off.

"Oh yeah, wasnt that troll with the really big hair and clown makeup his moirail?" Roxy asks, resting her face on her hand.

"Yeah, Gamzee. I'm not sure if it'd a sensitive topic or not, so I'll leave it for now."

"Jooooooooohn!" Oh god.

"Jade? What're you-" you're caught off guard as she shoves a photo album into your hands.

"Hide this!" 

"Oh hey grandma!" Jake perks up.

"Hey grandpa! Hi Rose's mom, I'd love to stay and chat but I've got Dave tailing me, seeya later!" she calls, running out the back door.

"What's with the album?"

"Not a-"

"Yoink." Roxy smirks, snatching it out of your hands and opening it. Her face suddenly contorts into one of attempted concealed laughter. It doesn't work. You decide to have a look yourself and understand completely. You feel the muscles in your face faulter and you burst into hysterics. Damn it, Dave. 

Be Roxy Lalonde-->>

You can't be Roxy Lalonde as she has been reduced to a giggling mess on the floor.

Be Dirk Strider-->>

You are Dirk Strider and you just awoke from a nap on LOTAK. You'd say sleep but you spent most of the night watching terrible movies and building robots, so getting to bed only happened at about 5 AM LOTAK time. Right now it's 9 AM but you'd rather not go back to sleep. Ever since the defeat of Lord English, you and Equius have been in charge of machinery on the planets. So far you've built around 20 labor robots who are programmed to chop down trees and collect water. You're going to need more though now that there are 18 more trolls then anticipated. Originally, it was expected that only the living trolls, humans and Calliope were going to be sent to their own planets. It turned out that everyone was brought back, and the trolls planets were restored. Even so, many of them decided to stay with their dancestors or on a more inhabitable planet, such as LOFAF. Planets like LOTAK are only really used by their owners, as their conditions aren't exactly ideal. Aside from making robots on LOTAK, you spent most of your time on LOMAX or LOPAN. You sigh and make your way to your robo junk pile. You haven't spoken properly to Jake about your relationship yet and you're starting to worry. As much as you like Jane, you've noticed them spending way more time together lately and it bugs you.

Be Rose Lalonde-->>

You are Rose Lalonde. 

"Okay, so first things first." you start. "What happened to Eridan?" 

"Well his trial was first because his crime wasn't as severe as the rest, well, despite killing Feferi and me. Feferi was over it though, so she decided to drop charges and well I killed him as repentance anyway. After being emotionally traumatized by Terezi, he was let go on the grounds that he do community service for a month." 

"Wow, now Aranea?" 

"She had a similar sentence but only because she thought what she was doing was doing would benefit the group, otherwise, she'd probably be locked up for a sweep. Plus we don't have any prison chambers."

"Last but not least I guess."

"Gamzee and Kurloz..." Kanaya sighs. "We're honestly still on debate about whether we made the right choice reguarding them, but the were let free with no charges."

"What?! Why?!"

"Think about it. If they were charged, they'd feel more inclined to kill everyone."

"Well they need some punishment, Gamzee almost killed Terezi!"

"They're kissmesis, Rose. That's what they do. Terezi was in chanrge of the whole thing and it was pretty much her idea to let them go."

"I guess." you grumble. "Still, how do we prevent any more massacres?"

"Well we have 10 god tiers so if they try anything funny there's that." Good point. "And they've been put on heavy dosage of sopor."

"What?"

"They'll be pretty docile as long as they stick to that, and it's their moirail's job to make sure that sticks." 

"But Gamzee and Karkat aren't moirails anymore." you question.

"Well, they kind of are."

"What do you mean?"

"Karkat has been trying to not need Gamzee anymore. Because he's flushed for Terezi he was jealous that Gamzee fell into a quadrant with her so easily. Because of this he broke off the moiraileagance, well, not to mention the whole psychotic clown thing. On the other hand, Gamzee needs Karkat and Karkat still cares about Gamzee so when it was mentioned that someone needs to take care of Gamzee, Karkat volenteered almost immediately. As mentioned before, moiraileagence is similar to human siblings."

"Oh I think I understand it now. Say if me and Dave liked the same person but Dave got her first I'd be upset and try to ignore him. But of course, if he was in trouble..."

"You'd still stick your neck out for him." 

"Yeah." you let a small smile creep onto your lips. "It's funny, actually. Most siblings spend their whole childhoods together and because of that develop a bond. On the other hand, Dave and I didn't physically meet until we were thirteen and yet it's like we've known each other our whole lives."

"Well you have been through a lot together. I imagine it's the same for John and Jade." She's right. You and Dave have been through a lot these past few years, it's only natural that you develop a close relationship.

"Weren't you Vriska's moirail at one point?"

"Yes, but that uh... that was different."

"Why?" you press.

"I'll tell you later." she sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually sorry about how terrible this chapter is. I rushed it so there are probably a lot of spelling errors :/ sorry


End file.
